


Hiraeth

by murdergatsby



Series: Eunoia [1]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Drowning, Fear, Happy Ending, Loss, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-The Wrath of the Lamb, Temporary Character Death, Will Loves Hannibal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-24 10:28:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7504774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murdergatsby/pseuds/murdergatsby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will wakes up on shore to find Hannibal face down in the water.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hiraeth

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic for [Hannibal Cre-Ate-Ive's #ItsStillBeautiful TWOTL Anniversary Event](http://hannibalcreative.tumblr.com/post/148067771429/join-us-for-itsstillbeautiful-what-is-it)
> 
> This idea has been bouncing around in my head since I tweeted [this](https://twitter.com/teacupsmasher/status/720777661572755456), and I am so glad to finally have it out of my system. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Will didn’t remember the actual fall- only fragments of Hannibal holding him tight to his chest before they were completely torn into by the current. The sea had felt like concrete and it broke them apart, stirred them, and dissolved them like tiny bits of paper.

Will kept expecting to hit the rocks and feel his world fade to black one final time. But before long he was on the shore, his eyes fixed on the sky.

At first it didn’t feel real to be so _still_. And, as the tide reached beneath him and pulled bits of the earth away, it just felt like he was becoming one with the foam. The feeling of sand didn’t bring him an immediate comfort until he heard himself take a sharp breath inward. Then, he heard himself laughing.

The feeling of not being dead was something that invited an absolute euphoria upon Will. He buried his fingertips in the damp layers of sand below him, pulling against them as if they were fresh sheets on a mattress. For a moment the night air had a comforting chill to even his water soaked body, and the sand gave off a smell similar to a dusty attic- like something that had been closed off for too long was now open and allowed to air out.

It was a hopeful smell, a hopeful feeling. Then, Will turned his head.

Hannibal laid face down in the tide. His body bobbed gently with the current but was otherwise unmoving. Blood billowed under his body to a steady rhythm, looking like crimson clouds of smoke. Will’s bliss leaked from him in the distant sound of his own exhale.

Suddenly, the night air felt like an oncoming blizzard. The shore smelled only of sea life and rot. His face felt bloated and tight with pain, and his lungs burned- his entire body suddenly felt fragile and pulsed with intense agonies.

Will rolled to his side and tried to pull himself to his feet. He called to Hannibal as loudly as his throbbing chest would allow, while his feet scrambled beneath him. His legs moved as if he were caught in a dream, and no matter how he moved them he still felt as if he were still too far from Hannibal’s side.

_“Hannibal?”_

When Will’s arms could finally manage the reach, he took a handful of Hannibal’s sweater and lifted him. The knit released a hefty handful of blood and water, that wrung through Will’s clenched fingers and down the veins of his arm. The color of sand and blood was a dirty color that reminded him of the guts of a fish- a thought that had his own guts knotting and churning within him.

_“No. Please, no.”_

He rolled Hannibal on to his back and was met with Hannibal’s closed-eyed, pale, and cold face. He looked as if he were only sleep- no pain or stress in his expression. No consciousness, no control.

After that, all Will could hear were the waves as they roared in hilarity behind him. He imagined that they found some kind of humor in the fact that he had just abandoned _everything_ he had, to become something he could no longer turn back on. And now the reason- the _person_ \- that brought all his change upon him was laying lifeless in his arms.

The water lapped away at Hannibal’s body just like it had with Will, trying to take him and swallow him. Will could feel the slight pull of Hannibal’s weight under his grasp and hauled him as far up on the shore as his exhausted body would allow for, shouting negations as he went. He only dropped him when his hands began to shake too much to keep his grip.

_“Don’t do this.”_

Helplessness left his limbs feeling numb, which didn’t aid his desperate want to stop shaking. He could hear his body wheeze with every breath, and he felt his mind try to slip from him and ascend above the situation.

But he knew needed to stay there, on the ground and in the present. He needed to stay with _Hannibal._ So he fought it with all the energy he knew he could spare.

_“You selfish piece of shit, don’t do this.”_

Will steadied his hand against Hannibal’s jaw and pulled open his mouth. He tipped Hannibal’s face to the side and let his cheek lay on the ground. Water leaked from his nose and mouth in thin trickles, mimicking rain against a window.

Will pressed his fingers to the underside of Hannibal’s jaw, against his neck. Hannibal pulse was something so soft and distant that the shaking of Will’s hands nearly buried it. But, it was there.

_“Don’t you leave me. Not after all of this.”_

Will lifted Hannibal’s head back up from the ground, turning him back to face him. Hannibal’s mouth stayed open with no strength to close it.

_“You can’t leave me.”_

Will pinched his nose and breathed into him. He raked the tips of his free fingers over Hannibal’s chest and pressed on him, feeling for any rise. He breathed into him again, hardly taking his lips off Hannibal’s to do so. His own expanding ribcage sent volts of pain up his back and out into his arms, but he forced himself through it. He could hear himself shouting to not give up like an echo from the other side of the sea. He had to get through it, and he knew that meant even if reviving Hannibal was the last thing he ever did.

He couldn’t go on without him.

Will whispered ‘please’ against Hannibal’s open mouth and breathed into him one final time. Hannibal’s chest seized as water came rushing up into Will’s mouth. Will spit it aside and turn Hannibal’s head back to the ground so that the water wouldn’t crash back into him.  Hannibal coughed up the harsh contents of his lungs as Will closed himself into Hannibal’s stomach with his last bits of energy.

Unlike Will, Hannibal did remember the fall. He remembered the moment the ground left his feet, and the way his body tensed as it came to terms with what he had done to it. He remembered how it felt to have Will wrapped in his arms and the curls of his hair pressed into underside of his chin. He remembered the smell of the water mixing with the smell of Will’s blood and Will’s shampoo. He remembered the deeper notes of Will’s skin, his fear, and his pride. _God_ , how he had been longing for it.

When he hit the water, it didn’t let him stay awake. He was thrown through the sea like a ragdoll and met the shore with force. He was sure he had died, and now Will was in his arms again as if nothing had happened.

Except, something had happened. This wasn’t a lapse in time and memory. Will hadn’t washed up in his arms like some kind of peaceful fairytale. Will had saved him.

Will could have come to, seen Hannibal, and let him drown. He could have gone back to his old life, or started a new one on his own. Instead, the man who had spent so much time trying to separate himself from Hannibal, had saved him. He wanted him to be alive.

Hannibal managed to laugh- a joyful noise that sounded as good in Will’s ears as it felt bubbling under Hannibal’s tongue. He felt his senses coming back to him in slow pulsations, not all of which were pleasant to experience. The pain was back in his stomach, hip, and head. His spine felt tight and his mouth tasted of his own blood- metallic and over salted. However, all of this was no match for the feeling of warmth that came from Will’s arms wrapped around his body.

In that moment, Hannibal made a silent deal with whomever was listening that he would allow each and every bone in his body to be broken if it meant that Will would never leave his side.

_“Don’t do that again.”_

Will’s lips moved against Hannibal’s stomach because he was too weak to lift his head. He was afraid to let go, so his hands continued to knot in Hannibal’s sweater, pulling the knit even-more-so out of shape.

Hannibal closed his arm around Will, and laced his fingers in his hair.

_“I won’t.”_


End file.
